This is about the time

...to reflect upon the fact that I really have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.

I told someone today that I have no problems with admitting I'm wrong (providing that I am, in fact, proven wrong). That goes hand in hand with freely admitting when I really don't have a clue as to what I'm getting myself into.

But isn't that why we travel? It's not just to see cool shit-- and I firmly believe that the Taj Mahal falls under the heading of "cool shit"-- but to learn about other people, other cultures... and, theoretically, about ourselves. It's tripe, but it's also true.

The other day for about the hundredth time someone asked me why it is that I wanted to travel to India. He said the word "India" with what seemed like a mixture of awe and disgust, which I guess isn't too surprising in and of itself. He also said "I've heard there are a lot of, um, poverished people there." ......... [blank look]........ Poverished. Poverished? Is that a word? Not wanting to say "do you, ah, mean.... 'IMpoverished'?", I stared at him for a moment trying to figure out whether or not I should correct him-- usually a bad idea, and discretion is as we all know the better part of valor- so I marveled at his ignorance instead. This is someone who makes approximately ten times what I do and belongs to what I guess could be called the "upper middle class". I said yes, there are in fact a lot of poor people in India... and wisely let it go at that. It's the poor people I've met who have offered more to me than I could ever ask for. "Poverished" people are some of the nicest, most hospitable people on earth-- to say nothing of the Indian sense of hospitality, from which I think we could all take a few cues. It's cheesy as hell but I personally believe that money does not have any bearing on happiness... although, let's be honest, NOT having to worry about where the next meal is coming from is a mighty big influence on one's state of mind. Many of the nicest people I've ever met come from and/or are existing in the most humble of circumstances. Which begs the question: Why would I NOT want to travel in such a place? Besides the malaria and dengue fever and chikungunya risk, I mean.

As wonderful and relatively "risk-free" as Europe is, India jumped out at me not just because it's a place I've always wanted to see (it is, for as long as I can remember)-- but because I actually *want* to be pushed out of my comfort zone and into completely unknown territory. I can't claim altruistic motives, because the primary reason I travel is to satisfy my endless curiosity. Does that make me selfish? Perhaps. Do I care? Not really.

To everyone who has asked

...or who has thought of asking:

No, I am not packed yet.

Sigh.

This goes in the department of henna woes.

Caller: Hi, I'm calling about henna tattoos. [aside: for the love of whatever deity, please don't call it a tattoo.] How much do they cost?
Me: [friendly, inquisitive] My hourly rates are [X] per hour for appointments and I have a one-hour minimum for the Seattle area... are you having a party or getting married?
Caller: Really? [X]? Wow, that's really expensive. I just want a little flower on my ankle, can you do that?
Me: Sure, I can do that... but like I said, my rate is [X] per hour, so do you maybe have a group of friends that would like to get together for this so you can all split the cost? I can do a lot of henna in an hour.
Caller: I don't think so, this is kind of a spur of the moment thing for me... So do you think maybe you would give me a discount?
Me: A discount? [baffled] I'm sorry, my rate is [X] per hour...
Caller: [exasperated] Yes, but I can't *afford* that. Can't you give me a deal? I know henna doesn't cost very much and the design I want would only take about 10 minutes.
Me: [incredulous] No, I'm very sorry, but it doesn't work that way. Do you give discounts on your hourly wage when someone tells you that it won't take you the whole hour to finish the project they've just given you?
Caller: [baffled] Um... what?
Me: Thanks for calling. (Click.) [Proceed to give self a congratulatory pat on the back for not reaching through the phone line and yanking the idiotic caller's tonsils out]

Oh well, if it wasn't this it would be something else, eh? I try to have a good attitude about people. By that I do not mean an overly trusting, naive attitude... just that I try not to automatically think everyone is 1. stupid, B. rude or 2. a combination of the two. So when I'm confronted with blatant displays of stupidity or rudeness/meanness--and those three words pretty much encompass a wide swath of bad behavior-- it gives me a shock. It's somewhat dismaying but also somewhat entertaining at the same time. I just try to maintain the mindset that it's not what other people do, it's how I react to it when it affects me that matters... and if nothing else it makes for a good story.

It's funny...

...how wearing a t-shirt that's two sizes too small (instead of an oxford shirt & vest that's two sizes too large) will cause co-workers to see one's self in a whole new light. The choice on sizing is not mine, by the way. Insert eye roll here.

I am not yet convinced that this is entirely a good thing but the co-workers may disagree.

In other news, there are now only 12 days left before I depart. It's only just now dawning on me how much of a bitch this trip is going to be to pack for: cold and wet in London, hot and fucking humid in Delhi, hot and dry in Agra/Khajuraho, cool to cold in Sikkim, back to hot and fucking humid in Kolkata, back to cold and wet in London... bleh. And I've calculated how much air time I'll be racking up on this journey: it's almost 40 hours. To the astute reader, that comes down to 10 hours per day. Not too bad, but the time changes bugger it all up.

I'm going to be a mess on Thanksgiving.

Why?

Why is there a check-in kiosk at your departure gate-- say, Gate 20 at SFO-- if you have to be ticketed, checked-in and holding your boarding pass to get through security to get to the departure gate to begin with?

Why is it that Rockstar caffeinated beverage is approximately $2.29 per can, whereas the same size can of "Rockstar 21", the alcoholic version, is $1.69?

Why do I have to punish myself by waking up at 3:00am when getting out of bed is most assuredly NOT my specialty by any stretch of the imagination? Oh right, because I work at 4:30. KILL ME.

Things I Learned While Obtaining A Tourist Visa

While it's not necessarily a traumatizing experience, it's not terribly fun either. Here. Please learn from my mistakes.

1. Staple the required passport-like photos-- two identical shots, two inches by two inches each-- to your application *exactly* where it says "staple two photos here". Do not deviate from this.

2. When you are stapling the photos to the first page of the application, take care not to staple the second page to them as well. That requires a different staple over in the top left-hand corner. You will be chastised if this is done incorrectly.

3. Try to download the application and fill it out before you go in. It's likely that this helpful bit of information will be nowhere to be found on the website for the consulate/embassy of the country you're trying to get a visa from. I had actually done this already, hoping to save time, but also a bit worried that they might not want that and would make me re-fill out the information in front of them. Turns out I did exactly the right thing and ended up saving myself a LOT of time (compared to the poor sods who hadn't filled out an application when they arrived).

4. When someone hands you a number to wait in line, and you don't notice any numbering equipment displays, keep your number anyway. Keep it handy and do not lose it. You will have to give it back to get your place in line or risk starting over with a new number. (Fortunately I did not do this but I witnessed it.)

5. Perhaps most important (at least if your'e heading to India): KEEP YOUR RECEIPT. It's likely that this crucial information will not be posted anywhere or even told directly to you by the cashier as she/he hands you said receipt. But if you want your tourist visa, snugly stuck to a page inside your passport, you'd better have it. Seriously.

All that aside, it was a much less painful experience than I thought it would be.

Four weeks from today

It's dawning on me how little time that really is, and how many important things-- for example, acquiring a tourist visa, haha-- are still left to be done.

Oh, and because I'm compulsive, I couldn't help checking the price of my ticket again. (Yes, I've already bought it. I said "compulsive" for a reason.) It was about $100 more, heh. I also couldn't help typing in my original itinerary of into Kolkata, out of Delhi... which astute readers will remember was $1575 as of last Thursday, then jumped to $2500 on Friday-- Well. Some serious shit must be going down in that town on the weekend of November 4, because the price jumped to $4900. Forty. Nine. Hundred. Dollars.

To put it in layman's terms: What the fuck?!